Big Legs, Big Problems

As I was walking out of Jones Tower today, my traction-less gladiator sandal slipped on the mock-marble floor, and I fell up the stairs. This is not a rare occurrence. But, the large housekeeper who was following me up the stairs exclaimed, "be careful! You don't want to hurt your big legs, mama."

I was shocked for a second. Big legs? Big legs? Big legs? I must admit that she was not bearing false witness. I am 5'2", I wear adult small in T-shirts, and large shorts. I am the quintessence of the "pear shaped" body type. To say it bluntly, my ass is huge, and my legs aren't far off.

Though she was speaking the truth, I was appalled at first because she was so unapologetically straightforward. In fact, as she followed me out the door, she kept repeating the phrase. "Don't hurt those big legs. You don't want bruises on those big legs."

I walked away, and like every woman would, I began obsessing about what she meant about big legs. Did she mean to be so curt? Did she mean big as in muscular? Was she intending to be hurtful? Was that a fat joke? Am I one of those people that is so large that it's ok to make fun of them publicly because it's obvious how large I am, and I should be used to it by now?

After the half-mile walk to my car, a construction worker begins to speak to me...I think.

"I got 14 mo' checks comin' in. Gon' help me spend 'em, girl? Ooh. I like those legs, mama. Gochu a boyfran?"

I quickly answered "yes" and proceeded to my car.

Let's play "guess that race." Based on the phonetic spelling of what he said to me, I bet you can guess that this guy is Black, or a White guy trying to act Black.

I'm not being racist. I am just acknowledging that there are distinct cultural differences in language between stereotypical White people and stereotypical Black people. In most cases, people do not fit the stereotypes. However, in this case, he did.

It was during this thought process that it hit me. When the housekeeper (who was also black) was talking about my "big legs," she was complimenting me, which is why she found it appropriate to be so blunt.

Any normal person would have come to this conclusion early-on. But, I must confess, that one of my major quirks is that I dissect what anyone says to me, no matter how simple.

Clearly, this conundrum could be solved if I acknowledge cultural differences...or stop over-analyzing what people say...but that's not going to happen!